woo hoo!

My kids and I celebrated our Christmas last Friday. (people heading out of town etc... makes us celebrate early). I got a Kindle fire from them!

I'm LOVING it! I'm playing on it all the time! Even take it to bed with me at night and play Angry Birds until I can't see straight! ha ha ha!

It was so nice of everybody to give me that. I absolutely never thought I would want something like that. But I just love it. All kinds of fun little games and time wasters! LOL.

I want to bring it to work, but I will never get any work done if I do. I'm sure I'll play games all day. ha ha ha.

Inversion

Utah is going through another one of its yucky weather things. We don't see the sun. The air quality sucks. No snow on the ground. Blech.

It's depressing. Day after day.

I hate snow, but I would actually LOVE to see the white stuff falling just to clear the gunk out of the air!

My poor friend has asthma and has had to use her inhaler a couple times a DAY for the past week. She usually only needs to use it once a week.

So, I post a picture of the sun. Because even though we can't see it.... I know it's there. Up there. Up high. In the sky. Somewhere hidden behind the smog.

Prove me wrong!

Not a fun day

Overslept. On my way to work David calls me to say his car is on fire and he can't get hold of his dad.

I freak out.

I try to find him and can't. Good thing is that I did not see a car fire, so hopefully that meant something positive.

Continuing on to work I come soooo close to a head on collision by some idiot who cut in front of me at Eisenhower on Redwood Road. SO close. I closed my eyes because I was sure we were going to hit.

thankfully we did not.

At work. The copier (Big Rosy) is having a PMS day. (Big Rosy is the name of the machine... not a person). She ran out of paper and it is very hard to load her. She takes big heavy rolls of paper. So I get it in, and then the machine won't load it. So I have to unload, re-load. Unload, re-load. Unload, re-load. Over and over. Finally get the paper in but then I hit the wrong button and told it that it was the wrong paper so when I made my copy it printed soooooo slow it took about 20 minutes to print one sheet.

Then the ink ran out.

Then I unloaded the paper and re-loaded it yet again so I could correct the type. Then made my copies which for some reason turned out HORRIBLE. It looked like someone walked all over them with dirty feet. Barely legible.

So I cleaned the machine, and tried again. Didn't make a difference. The prints suck.

Meanwhile.... I have a stack of drawings on the desk that need to be released, but I hate to do it when the machine will make horrible copies. And every ten minutes somebody else wants something so I go off in a different direction. The drawings are still waiting to be released and it's almost 1pm now.

Gotta change my mojo somehow.

Totally sweet

This is my early Christmas present. My grandbaby. I love watching her grow. She changes everytime I see her. She is just a doll.

Absolute perfection in every single detail of her.

She has the most incredibly long, dainty fingers that I have ever seen. I need to make a cast of her hand before that changes.

Why? Why is this happening?

A man in my town was just arrested for child porn. This man is a member of my faith. This man was a scout master. And they found hundreds of images on his computer of children around the age of 10 being molested.

Talk about a betrayal of trust!! This just makes me SICK. If one of my children had been in his charge.... I would be beside myself with worry that he had harmed one of MINE.

What is going on with society that people are so depraved these days? Why are people defiling our innocent children?

Why are people so sick and degenerate? Why are people into weird, perverted awful things these days?

Or has it always been this way? Since the beginning of time? It's talked about in the scriptures.

My heart breaks for the little children.

A wee bit of Christmas humor for the day.....

This takes the cake!

I read this article today and it makes me SO angry! Why don't people have common sense anymore? What was Safeway thinking? This poor family just moved to Honolulu... they are tired, they are hungry, they are weary, they are lost.... Mom is pregnant. That combination would make anybody forgetful. I have opened up a water, or a soda in the store.... drank it as I shopped, with the full intention of paying for it at the counter, and sometimes forget until the cashier finishes ringing me up and then I say "OH.. whoops, wait... did you get this?"

PLUS this pregnant mom is a military person! You know darn well she is not trying to steal a sandwich!! Come on!!

The store should have let this couple pay for it. But it took FOUR hours for the cops to show up? And they take the daughter AWAY? And they make the parents go to the police station in SEPARATE CARS???

Oh this whole thing burns me. It just gets my blood boiling. I am so angry....

I have choice words I would love to say... but being a christian woman... I can't say it.

Yes I am.

I knew that I would be excited to have a grandbaby. But I wasn't prepared for the enormous emotional outpouring my heart would have. I love this little sweetheart soooo much!!!

I held her for an hour and just looked at her... her little head, and ears, and fingers, and feet, and toes, and knees, and nose, and rosebud mouth... and she is so perfectly perfect in every way.

I wanted to just inhale her. Just..... capture that moment in time and hold it forever. I haven't seen her for a couple days and it feels like forever. I know she is going to look different already! Babies change so fast.

I'm making chicken pillows to take to the new parents tomorrow. They may already have dinner coming in, but chicken pillows heat up easily so I will just let them have them whenever.

I can't wait to see this sweetie again. I wish they didn't live so far away. Now I know how my mom felt.... however, I am lucky in that they are only 20 minutes away.... and my mom was clear across the country!! I should stop whining.

Tomorrow is my hubby's bday. He will be 51. Hopefully he will be HOME with ME in another week. Let's keep fingers crossed. I miss him. I miss the companionship.

I wish I was rich. I want to help so many people out who are having problems.... health problems, car problems, bill problems, trip problems.... I know so many... and I wish I could just hand over thousands of dollars to everybody.

Guess I need to start "attracting" abundance. I totally believe in "The Secret" and the law of attraction. I absolutely believe it and I found references to that exact thing in the scriptures. Thought and action.... Thought and attraction.... powerful things.

Well, time to attract a clean house. :-)

I'm a GRANDMA!!

After much anticipation.... our little angel arrived yesterday. She was due Oct. 20 but they induced her mommy yesterday (Oct. 25) and after 6 hours she came to earth!!

6 pounds 11 oz of sweetness. Oh this baby is so precious. I'm going to LOVE being a grandma.

She still doesn't have a name yet.

Mommy and Daddy were tired but very happy. Mommy had a pretty intense labor. Induced labors are hard. I ought to know... two out of my four were induced.

Anyhow.... I'm ecstatic. I can't wait till my other "daughter" gets to have the same experience. I'm really going to love being surrounded by little babies/kids.

Whether they are adopted, natural, or step grandbabies.... I love em all the same!

Look Mom!

Yesterday was the first time I EVER went to the dentist and had them say "No cavities. Your gums are healthy and you have a very clean mouth. Keep doing what you're doing."

What am I doing???? I don't know! The only thing I can figure out is that I have cut waaaaaay down on eating sugar. I hardly eat it anymore. \

I also use Listerine. But I still don't floss my teeth. EVER. Yet they said it looked like I was a "good flosser".

Ha... I fooled them!! LOL

I'm so glad to get a good report though. Yay.

I figure the reason I have no cavities is because pretty much all of my teeth are FAKE! LOL. Crowns and veneers make up 90% of my teeth. LOL.

But a couple years ago they told me I had gum disease so it's nice to know that is gone.

Hush Little Baby......

I stopped at the grocery store tonight to pick up a couple things on my way home from work. When I left the store an elderly man and woman were standing in front of the automatic doors looking at something on the ground. When I exited the store, I saw a little bird twirling around in circles and sqwacking like it was in extreme pain. (almost sounded like me when I herniated my disc).

The man seemed impatient to get in the store and didn't give a fig about the bird. The woman, however, seemed very concerned but didn't know what to do for it.

"Do you know what to do for the poor thing?" she asked me, "should I pick it up?"

I said, "He will probably be ok in a bit. Probably just winded."

I walked to the car and I could feel my mom (who loved birds so much, her casket had them embroidered inside) tell me "Michelle, you go back right now and pick up that bird and hold it for a few minutes!"

So......... I put my bag and purse in the car and walked back to where the lady was still looking at the bird. She had a Kleenex in her hand but she wasn't sure how to pick the thing up. It now looked like it had a broken leg because it couldn't stand up at all.

I have held many a bird that managed to conk itself silly on my mom's windows so I knew how to do it.

I swooped it up in my hands and began to talk very softly to it. The poor thing was absolutely terrified and in pain... and it did NOT want to settle down at all. Still I cooed softly to it, and prayed a little prayer that it could be well enough to fly.

It managed to wriggle out of my grasp and flew about 2 feet and then landed right in front of the automatic doors which were opening... and the door smacked it and then the person coming out almost stepped on the poor thing!

It rolled itself into a corner and calmed down a little bit.

I couldn't reach it because I couldn't bend (herniated disk and all).

I thought about leaving.... but felt prompted again to give it another try.

Just then the poor thing started sqwacking up a storm again.... oh it sounded so pitiful like it was either screaming in pain or screaming for help. It rolled towards me and I gently picked him up again.

The old lady had come out with the store manager who had a box in her hands. The lady wanted them to call the Humane Society, but the manager and I knew that they would do nothing for this poor little bird unless it was a rare bird or exotic or something.

I held the bird a few more minutes, praying for it to be ok, and suddenly I could feel not one, but BOTH little legs kicking at me inside my hands. I told the old lady and the manager that I thought it would be ok.... but that it needed to be let loose where it wasn't so busy.

The manager said she would take it to the back of the store where there wasn't anybody, so I put Arthur (he looked like an Arthur) in the box.

As I walked back to my car, I didn't know if I helped the bird at all, but I knew Mom was happy I had at least tried.

Big Owie

If you have never experienced the pain of sciatica or a ruptured, herniated disc... consider yourself lucky. It is PAINFUL. Worse than the neck pain I had from my whiplash. Worse than childbirth. It is an unrelenting pain that cannot be relieved no matter what position you get in. Its a stabbing, searing, horrible pain that shoots down the nerve over and over and over.

That's what I'm dealing with right now. George and I went on vacation to Vermont last week with high hopes of painting my dad's house, and cleaning the inside. On our third day there, I was picking up huge bags of trash to carry out and my back tweaked and it hurt. I thought "Oh, I just have pulled a muscle". But then I sat down on the floor to clean a bottom shelf and immediately I was seized by horrific pain. It took my breath away. And then... I couldn't get up. I couldn't move. All I could do was scream "OW OW OW!!!"

My sister came over to the house to help that day and she had me lay on the couch and put ice on it. Gave me 800mg Advil. She thought I should go to the hospital and get it looked at and I know she was right but I kept hoping it would "go away" and get better.

I couldn't even drive back to the hotel. George had to. I could not sleep at all the whole night because no matter what position I tried, sitting, standing, laying, propping pillows, every position hurt HORRIBLY. I cried all night. I knew that I must have done something very wrong to my back to hurt that bad.

The next morning I had George take me to the emergency room in Brattleboro. They gave me pain medication and told me I had "sprained" my back and should go see my doctor when I get home.

I came home and it didn't get better. So Monday I went to Dr. Byrd who is my pain doctor for my neck. He cured my neck pain. He sent me for an MRI. The results showed I have a herniated disc and another one that is bulging and ready to rupture.

So... it wasn't all in my head.

And it wasn't a SPRAIN either.

Tomorrow I go in and get an epidural injection of steroids in my L4 L5 area of the spine. I hope it will help. When I got the epidural for my neck it hurt worse than the everyday pain for about two weeks and I was sorry I did it, but then it got better. I hope this one works. I missed half a week of work this week and i don't have anymore sick leave.

So........ anyhow.......... that is that. I want physical therapy once this gets better. I need it. I have to build up the muscles so this doesn't happen again.

The older we are.... the faster time flies!

I've been reading letters that I wrote to Karin when I was pregnant with her, and when she was a baby. It's been fun, it's been emotional... it's been a wake up call that time does not slow down... it speeds up!

I remember how grown up I thought I was back then. Looking back now, I realize I was just a baby myself at age 21!!

I had no idea then, how my life would be NOW. And frankly.... I regret a lot of choices I made. I do wish I could turn back the clock and get a "do-over" in some areas.

But, when it comes down to it.... I like the person I AM... I'm a GOOD person. That is what counts.

I have many blessings. I have people who love me. I have a lot of love in my heart for a lot of people. I'm content with that.

We can't change the past. But we can create a future. It's all up to us.

I'm the "older generation" now....

Seems like only yesterday that I was the young mom with the 4 kids, and my sister was the "slightly older" mom with her 7 kids.... and we were the ones in our "prime".

Now... our kids are having kids... and we have become the GRANDMAs and the OLDER generation.

So how come I don't feel that old?

Don't get me wrong....I definitely ain't no spring chicken. But I am not ready to settle down in a rocking chair on the porch either.

I remember when all of these kids came into the world. I watched em grow up.

It's scary to me that I am now the "grandma" generation. It's exciting too, but it's scary.

So many things can go wrong with our bodies. I regret not taking better care of myself when I was younger.

Boooy do I regret it.

Candid shots... lol

Not easy trying to get 22 people to sit still and pose for photos.

This was pre-pose.... I'm sure when they all did the "Smile and say Cheese" it came out better.

Family Reunions

It has been years since my sister had all her children, their spouses, and the grandkids together in one place. Last night it happened (Well, one child was missing but he landed in the state during the party). I had a blast seeing my nieces and nephew and their spouses and children all gathered together. WOW. I remember when the Kramer clan was like that. I was a parent and my kids were small. NOW I am the OLDER generation... the GRANDMA generation!!! It was sobering. But way fun.

They had a zebra pinata for the little kids to hit. Bless her heart, Lily ran off and started crying. When Katy went and asked her what was wrong, Lily said she "didn't want to hurt the zebra". Is that just one of the sweetest things???? These kids were sooooo cute and they all got along so well. It was so sweet.

I can't wait for Karin to have her baby. I am just itching to be grandma with a little one I can actually hold, and love, and cuddle. I may have to fight the other grandma's for space.... but I will! I remember when my Karin was in my tummy, and how I wrote letters to her throughout my pregnancy... and I remember how spiritual it was to give birth to her.... and how much I loved and adored that child from the moment she was placed in my arms.....

Oh, to turn back the clock.....

I'm happy to be in this phase of my life. It's scary as can be though.... I realize I am closer to the grave than ever.... and if I don't take better care of myself I will REALLY be IN the grave. But I am so proud of my children. Every single one has turned out to be an amazing, awesome, wonderful, responsible person. I am so pleased and so proud of each one of them.

And I adore my son-in-law and my daughter-in-law. I adore my step-daughter Monica. I love my grandkids.

I am blessed. Extremely, wonderfully, awesomely blessed.

Late night ramblings

In 2 months I will get to take my hubby home to meet my dad. And we will paint dad's house and fix stuff up and clean, and do whatever dad wants.

I'm excited to be able to do it.

The trip is going to cost a small fortune..... but it is worth it. Dad is getting on in years and you just never know when a visit might be "the last".

Tomorrow is Father's Day and I will tell him that we are coming. George has already gotten the time off approved. I have put in my request. Hopefully it gets approved! LOL. Maybe I better wait a few days before I make reservations. Just to be sure.

Today was a LAZY day for me. I did do a little housework, but I slept in late. I took a nap, and I have played "Bejeweled" almost ALL day. Shame on me.

It's 11:30 pm so I better head off to bed quick.

My biggest regret today is I did NOT get in my exercise. I totally planned to do it. But I didn't. So tomorrow I better do twice as much.

:-)

I'm not as sweet as I used to be.....

....haven't had any sugar for 5 days. That is truly amazing for me because I am a sugar ADDICT.

I have learned that a low-carb diet really helps me control my sugar cravings. No other food plan does. I've had more energy this week. I even EXCERCISED! Now that is completely amazing. And I didn't hurt all over the next day.

So, I'm going to stick with it. I hope.

Musings....

I stole this pic from Bryttan and Michael. They took it last weekend while camping. I think it's a COOL picture.

So, not much to blog about today. Work is deadly quiet. I've been using the time to work on my calling. I'm doing the print-outs of the monthly Visiting Teaching messages for all the ladies at church.

I complained (often) that the existing ones for the past few years are UGLY and plain. Well... if you complain enough you get called to do the job yourself. LOL.

It's harder than I expected! LOL

I'm back on a low carb diet. Those work best for me. I get a nice amount of lean meats, and lots of veggies and salad. Plus I can use olive oil. And it makes my cravings for sugar completely manageable.

I had fajitas today for lunch at La Hacienda. I ate all the meat, peppers, onions, mushroom, guacamole, lettuce. I did not touch the tortillas, rice, sour cream, beans.

I am completely satisfied and I didn't miss the stuff I didn't eat.

I've lost 3 pounds so far, so it's working.

George and I have a deal. I am going to lose weight and he is going to GAIN weight. I can't believe how awful and skinny he was when he came home over Memorial Day. Wow. He looked horrible.

I've had a really amazing Black Magic Chocolate cake sitting on my counter for 4 days. I haven't touched it. (well, I had one piece before I started the diet). But since I started the diet... I have not had any.

Now I just need to get the air conditioner at home fixed so I can do the exercise bike without keeling over from heat exhaustion. I've called the landlord twice. He is so slow to do anything. Grrrr.

Well, enough of this rambling. I better get back to "work".... or at least look busy. LOL

I wish I had written my dream when I woke up...

Grrrrr. blogger won't let me cut and paste so now I have to retype this all over again. Oh well...

Last night I dreamed that I had bought a house. It was a narrow, two story house. I was having a party there and I was very surprised at how many people showed up. It was like a big family reunion. I was walking all around making sure everybody was enjoying themselves, and checking on the food, and so on.

I saw a nice looking man sitting in a chair playing with a baby and he had a dog by his side. As I approached him, he said, "Hey, where's Mary?"

I went up to him and he stood up and I saw that it was Uncle David but he was a lot younger, and he could walk! I told him mom wasn't there because she has been gone for a few years and he said, "Well, so have I. I want to see her."

There were people filling the yard and the streets and I was just amazed so many showed up. And I recognized a lot of them as people I knew when I was a little kid and I also knew most of them had died.

Karin was there, entertaining a group of kids, and her hair was cut short and in a wedge. She didn't really want to talk to me. She was busy keeping the kids occupied.

I also saw Annette, but I couldn't get over to talk to her.

I caught a glimpse of aunt Joyce.

And I had the feeling that Uncle Eddie was going to show up. I was really looking forward to seeing him, but also realized that if I did, it meant he was dead too.

There were Harlow's there also. Grandma, and Maddy. I saw uncle Don (who is still living).

That's all I remember. UPDATE: Last night as I lay in bed I was thinking about this dream and another thing occurred to me -- in my house, the kitchen was upstairs, on the top level. And I thought, "Hmm I wonder what the significance of that is?" and then I thought, "I am happy in my kitchen. The upper level is where I will be happy."

Interesting.....

I hate dental work

When I was a kid, I had a horrible man for a dentist. His name was Dr. Nemeister. He would fill my cavities with NO PAIN KILLER. I did not even know that you could have novacaine for fillings until I was 18 years old and moved to Utah. I was traumatized by this man. I remember he was drilling and the pain was so bad I was crying and he called me a baby! I hope he is getting his just desserts in the great beyond.

As a result.... I am a dental phobe. I am terrified of dentists. I hate them. I hate even getting cleanings. I hate the whole deal.

Last month I had an abcess and infection in my tooth that spread to the bone. The pain was horrendous. I had a root canal and they just put a temporary filling in the tooth. So yesterday I had to go get a crown prep.

At least with the root canal I got happy gas and major pain blockers. With the crown prep they gave me a little bit of numbing and then they DRILLED and DRILLED and did horrible torture to me for TWO HOURS!!!! They had to "build up" the tooth because there was nothing to attach the crown to.

I was shaking, and grasping the chair arms and trying not to hurl. (I have a real sensitive gag reflex). Oh it was not fun. NOT fun at all.

The dentist I had though, was a real sweetheart. Very nice.

So now I have a temporary crown on until they get the permanent one. That is about 3 weeks.

I kept thinking, "Boy, I can't wait to get resurrected and have all perfect teeth."

Oh, and while he was doing this he told me that the crown right beside it looks bad and may need to be replaced. He wants me to come back. I've maxed out my dental insurance with just this root canal and crown. I don't think I can handle another one. Even with insurance it was $800 out of pocket.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Just give me dentures.

YUMMMMMMMY Vegetable Soup

Time to start eating healthy and try to drop some of the depression pounds I accumulated over the winter.

Last night I made a huge pot of very awesome veggie soup.

I chopped up red, orange and yellow peppers, onions, garlic, carrots, celery, brocolli and sauteed them in a little bit of olive oil until they were starting to get tender. Then I added a can of Italian stewed tomatoes, a can of corn, a can of drained and rinsed white beans and a can of drained and rinsed navy beans. Covered it all with water and threw in 4 chicken herb boullion cubes. Bring to a boil, then turned down to medium and cooked til the veggies were done. (about 20 minutes).

Then I turned the heat up and threw in a couple handfuls of whole wheat linguine that I had broken up into small pieces. Cooked that ten minutes till it was almost done. Then threw in a couple big handfuls of fresh spinach leaves and cooked for 3 more minutes.

Then I took it off the heat and added, salt, lemon pepper, granulated garlic, cumin, thyme, chili powder, and some all purpose seasoning (chef somebody... I can't remember the name).

It was so good that I had FOUR bowls of it. And David, (who is extremely picky) ate it and said "Wow, this looks gross but it sure tastes good!"

I have enough for last me for a few days. It's healthy. It's got the good fat in it (and not very much because I only used about 2 teaspoons of olive oil) and the beans provide the protein.

It's also nice and filling! And the wonderful thing is that this is a recipe where you can adapt to whatever you like. Put whatever veggies you want. I wanted to put some butternut squash in it, but they didn't have any at walmart. Next time I will put that, and maybe some zuchinni.

Longing for a visit home

This picture reminds me of Vermont. I really hoped to go see my dad this year and take George. We still hope it will happen. Just not sure when. One thing we have discussed is having George go straight to Vermont from Honolulu when he leaves and I will meet him there.

I've been rather negative and whiney lately. Believe me. I hate it. I can't stand myself some days. LOL. Part of my problem is that I've put on a enormous amount of weight. I need to get it off.

I just have absolutely no energy. Ever. I think I need to get in and see the doctor. This has gone on way too long. But the doctor always takes blood, tells me its all normal, and that I just need to exercise.

Well, I want to exercise but I have no energy or desire or motivation to do it.

Blech. I hate feeling like this.

Weather woes

We are having one of the wettest, coldest springs on record. I'll take that over tornados anyday. But still, it made for a change in plans when my Georgie came to visit. We had planned to go have a picnic in Millcreek Canyon. Probably good thing we didn't because the day we would have.... there was some weirdo guy doing mushrooms and walking around with his pants down. Not my kind of fun.

And we wanted to do some other stuff outside. But it was cold and rainy. Booooooo.

George has only seen Utah at it's worst. Therefore he HATES this state. He has no desire to live here. Well, other than the fact that his WIFE is here. But he has only seen cold, rain, snow, wind... the bad side.

He really wants to move to Yuma, AZ and open a business with his friend Tom. That may be in our future. But definitely not near future.

I'm not leaving BSD. I'm not leaving my kids. I'm not leaving Utah. Nope. And thankfully, he isn't asking me to.