Awwww.... cutest present under the tree.

I just LOVE the expression on her face!!

"EXCUSE me? Why you put this curly stuff on my head???"

or


"I am NOT a ribbon stand!"


so many possibilities..... hehehe

Do NOT mess with me.

Tis the season for scammers to do what they can to bilk trusting consumers. I learned a lesson this week in TRUSTING MY GUT INSTINCTS no matter what. David found a "too good to be true" deal on a camera. The seller pretended to be from amazon but wasn't. All I had for ordering was an email. I inquired about the camera and they placed an order (I never told them to order it for me) and then they start demanding money via MoneyGram. The seller location was in Italy.

I didn't want to send a moneygram. At least through a credit card you have some kind of recourse if you don't receive the goods. But noooo... this person didn't accept credit card. Just MoneyGram or Western Union. And they sent me a "order" that looked like it was from Amazon, but the spelling errors were obvious that this person "no speak english" and everything about it just made me think it was a scam. They did not want me to tell the MoneyGram people it was a business transaction. They kept saying, "Tell them the money is for a family friend." Yeah RIGHT! I think NOT.

I contacted MoneyGram and Amazon.com and both of them agreed with me that this was a fraud and not to send a dime. So I tried to cancel the "order" (that I never even placed) and have been sent multiple harassing emails. I finally got PISSSSSSED off at them and sent them a nasty email back.

I asked them to give me their Seller name on Amazon. (Their so-called amazon order email contained NO seller listing... only an email address) I asked for them to give me the Amazon order number (there was no order number). I told them I did not believe they were legit. I told them I would not buy from them. I told them anybody who asks me to LIE to the Moneygram people about a transaction is dishonest. I told them they should be ashamed for posing like a Amazon seller when they had created that whole email to LOOK like it was legit but it was not (I sent it to Amazon and they told me it was a fake).

The biggest thing that bothers me.... is these people do have my name and address. That is the only private info they have.... but what if they get mad and open a bunch of credit card accounts using my name and address? I used to have identity theft protection insurance but it expired and I have no money to renew it.

They had also given me a "fax" number that was supposedly from amazon's international seller division that I could send my confirmation of payment to....(If I didn't want to send it directly to the seller) and I traced that number and it is not an amazon number. At least it is not on their website as one of their faxes. It showed up as a number in Florida.

I know what would have happened if I had done what they said. David would be out $600. I would never receive a camera. And if I complained about it, the MoneyGram order would have showed I sent money to a "family friend" not any business transaction where I should receive goods.

How stupid do they think I am?????

Well, I know what NOT to do with a money.....

Back in the day.... making a homemade cookbook was a cheap gift. Not anymore! So far it has cost me $260 to make TEN cookbooks. We're talking cardstock and paper here folks... and that price does NOT including binding them. Since I have a binder at work... I am going to do that myself. I thought I was so cool putting full color photos on every page.... HA! I had to copy them in black in white because to color copy them would have been almost $1000 !!! (for 30 cookbooks).

I seriously can't believe how expensive this Christmas is turning out considering I was not going to do any spending. Geeeeeeeezzzzzzzz. I'll be paying for this for months.

Oh well. I am not going to complain. I'm not. Things work out. They always do.

Sweeeeeeeet.

David did a nice job on this photo.

My blog for next year will start out by following my diet adventure. A whole bunch of us at work are doing the Hcg diet. (starting Jan. 2) My doctor will be THRILLED because she told me to lose weight. I have to go see her in Feb. Would be nice to have a substantial amount off me by then.

I absolutely have to do this.

Peruvian Alfajores

I made these cookies for a Relief Society Cookie Exchange. OOOOH man they are sooo good. They are an almond shortbread biscuit type cookie with a rich caramel filling. Dusted with powdered sugar. I brought a couple to work to share and my friend Brianne, who served a mission in Ecuador, went NUTS over these and told me they were "the best alfajores" she had ever eaten, and she had eaten a LOT of them.

They are a lot of work, but they are worth it. If Fernando still comes to Salt Lake for Christmas, I will make some for him. He may not come because of the weather and road conditions.

I cannot wait for Friday. My neck is so bad..... I just want to cry. I hope this epidural works as well as the last one did.

Grabby family aren't we???

Trying to take photos for our Christmas cards.... we got a bit silly....

My life could have ended.....

First major snowstorm of the season hit Utah today. My commute to work was a commute from H-E-L-L.

But I count my blessings. I made it. Alive. JUST BARELY.

Heading down Redwood road (going north) and a big truck pulled out into the South bound lane going waaaaay too fast for conditions. He slid across all three lanes and headed straight for me. Fishtailing all over the place. It was like slow motion.... I remember thinking "Oh my gosh, he is going to hit me. I'm going to die." and then seconds before impact.... he managed to get control of the truck so he missed me by a hair.

I almost got sick. I think all the color drained from my face. I was shaking, and felt like I was going to pass out. But I was soooooooooo thankful that I was okay.

Talk about having your life flash before your eyes in seconds! I remember thinking about the family photos we took last night... and that they would be our last.... and that nobody would know to tell Fernando that I had died and he would still be coming here to meet me! Thoughts just flash through in an instant... I also thought "I'll never see my grandchildren!"

{{{{shudder}}}}} I don't want to think about that. I am so grateful I am ok. If this storm does not let up though... I am leaving work early. This is nuts.

Now it's official!

Michael and Bryttan announced their engagement yesterday. Sometime in 2010 I inherit another daughter. Makes me a MIL x 2.

Cool. Guess I better get my butt back in church on a more regular basis so I can go.

Not what i was expecting.

Yesterday I threw the ingredients in my bread maker so I could have some nice, warm, fresh, fluffy bread to go with my bowl of broccoli cheese soup at dinner last night.

One problem. I forgot to put the yeast in!!

I got a brick. Hard on the outside.... doughy on the inside. Total mess. Had to throw it away. So I will attempt to do it again today, and I have a big sign that says "Remember YEAST!"

The long weekend is over. Wow it has been nice to be a total couch potato. I've accomplished absolutely nothing.... other than some laundry. But it's ok.

If Brian brings David home today then I will have him haul up the tree and I will at least get that decorated.

I have a busy weekend coming up. Our company party is Friday night and I am going to see that movie "Blind Side" (I think that is it?) and have sushi with Pam and Polly on Saturday.

Work is going to be outrageously stressful for the next 4 weeks. I hardly dare think about it. I really need to find a Friday that I can get another epidural injection on my neck, but it has to be a day I can take off.... and I don't know if I will have any days I can do that.

But I should do it before the new year because then I have another $1000 deductible before insurance covers anything.

Nice long weekend.......

Even though I have been battling a head cold or allergies, or something.... I am enjoying this nice long weekend all to myself.

I slept from 6:30 pm last night until almost 9 am this morning. I REALLLLLY needed it I guess. Though the cold medicine probably helped.

I've been watching marathon movies.... and just taking it easy. It is nice.

I haven't been answering my phone though. I just don't feel like talking to anybody. I had plans to go to a movie and sushi with Pam and Polly today, but I cancelled. Or rather, postponed it. I just don't feel like going out. I just want to be all by myself.... do my own thing..... not have to talk to anybody.....

Take a nap if I feel like it.... just hibernate. My head is still pounding. My neck pain has come back and I have spots of numbness on my back, which is really weird.

I am making some broccoli soup and homemade bread today. Yum. I am so officially sick of turkey now.

Well, I guess it is time to go and get on with my day.

Christmas Movie Marathon....

Ha...normally I do not allow Christmas music or movies or anything until the day after Thanksgiving. But since I had my thanksgiving last Sunday... I bent the rules. I've been watching all of my favorite Christmas shows.

The House Without A Christmas Tree (which David nicknamed "the grumpy daddy" movie)....








Rudolph.... where I get to sing "There's Always Tomorrow"....












Home Alone. One of my favorites.








The Santa Clause -- nobody could have played that part better than Tim Allen.









My favorite Scrooge version is the one with George C.Scott.







Santa Clause is Coming To Town..... with the Winter Warlock that used to scare me.










The Year without a Santa Clause -- probably my MOST favorite movie from childhood. Love Heat Miser and Snow Miser. And though I have seen this movie a hundred times... I still get teary eyed when they sing "I Believe In Santa Clause".







Watched this movie last night. One of my favorites and very difficult to find. I am so lucky I got a copy.

And of course..... Christmas is not Christmas without watching "It's A Wonderful Life"..... I have the black and white version, the color version, and the remake that Marlo Thomas did entitled (It Happened One Christmas".

Soon I will dig out my Christmas CD's and start playing the music all day at work. I'm trying hard to feel the spirit this year. I just don't have it. The Christmas spirit just is not in my heart. I just don't want to put up decorations, or buy gifts, or anything. I feel like I just barely did all this. It can't possibly be a whole year already!!!

I've turned into my mom. LOL

Wasting Time Today.

Some days when I come to work, I am so busy.... and other days..... I have nothing much to do and this is one of those days.

Plus, my stomach is not feeling great. Probably a result of being off my Protonix for 4 days already. Insurance won't cover it anymore and I cannot get in to see my doctor until Dec. 2.

So I took a Zantac this morning but I don't think that is what I need. I think I need Prilosec, or something.

I am going to meet Fernando's daughter, Ana, on Friday. She goes to LDSBC, which is my college. We're just going to grab a bite at Crown Burger, and chat for a few minutes. It's kind of funny to be "checked out" by the daughter. LOL. Hope I pass inspection.

LEVEL 8

My neck has not hurt this bad in MONTHS. I seriously may schedule another epidural before the end of the year.

Yesterday I took a Lortab 10 (finally broke down and took it. So you know the pain was BAD), AND I took a Xanaflex.

Did NOT help the pain at all!!! I tried my best to hide it from everybody, but I kept finding myself clenching my teeth, which then started my jaw hurting.

You know what would feel good? To have somebody just beat me really hard on the neck/shoulder area. I just want to HIT it.... HARD.

It hurts bad enough that it is making me sick to my stomach. I don't know what I did... if I slept wrong, or if the epidural injections have just worn off... But I think that even if it is going to cost me hundreds of dollars... I need to have another injection.

The question is WHEN??

Productive Day in Many Ways.

My Saturday started out just like any other day..... waking up at 6am. I guess my internal clock just will NOT allow me to sleep in anymore. I went to TSFKAA (the store formerly known as Albertsons) and shopped the empty aisles.... grabbing the items I needed to bake 5 pies today.

Came home and made two pumpkin pies, 2 apple pies, and 1 pecan pie.

Michael stopped by for a minute and declared the place smelled heavenly with all the pies baking. Wait till tomorrow when the turkey is roasting. I missed that last year because my oven was broken, and I had to cook the turkey at Karin and Brett's. (they were out of town).... and I think dinner last year sucked because it just doesn't work to cook one place and transport to another.

I am going to make mashed potatoes a little differently tomorrow. I am making them in the morning, and then keeping them in the crockpot all day.... see how that works. I'm also putting some cream cheese and sour cream in them..... which I never do, but found a good recipe.

I've been scaring myself silly the past 2 days. Last night Riss and I went to see "The Fourth Kind." It really kind of spooked me. But it was not thinking it was aliens that scared me.... the footage they showed of the so-called "actual" experience -- reminded me more of a demonic possession. And THAT scared me to DEATH.

Then today I watched the movie "Orphan" and man oh man.... that was TENSE. Not scary... just tense.

So to get that stuff out of my mind, I watched the Sound of Music while I was baking... and tonight as I clean, I will probably listen to "It's A Wonderful Life".

I feel like I am such a couch potato. But I am working while I am watching.... I baked 5 pies today, and did 5 loads of laundry... and cleaned my bedroom. Shopped, etc.... and now I am at work.... so I can use the computer.

Well, tomorrow is turkey day. Looking forward to it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday will find my home filled with the aroma of roasting turkey, stuffing, yams, potatoes, gravy, and food spread from one end of the counter to the other. Pecan pie, pumpkin, and apple pies..... with homemade whipped cream slathered on top.

The sounds of chatter, teasing, singing, piano playing, laughing, and murmurs of "Oh, I'm STUFFED"........

will float on the air.

Perhaps I'll haul out the Christmas tree? I usually put it up the day after Thanksgiving. Not really in the mood this year. But maybe that will help the mood.

Maybe we'll watch a movie, or play a game, or haul out the Wii.

Whatever the day holds, it will be a day of Thanksgiving for all of the blessings we have been given. I'm am most thankful for my wonderful children, who have all grown into such amazing adults (or in David's case, teenager). I am thankful for our relationship. I have observed so many of my friends' families who just fight and bicker, and say the meanest and nastiest things to each other. Families who don't laugh together -- ever. Families who just push each other's buttons or who can't stand to be in the same room with each other. It makes me sad, and it makes me so grateful that my family is not like that.

So for this thanksgiving, I don't give thanks for an abundance of food as much as I give thanks for an abundance of love....................

What a precious smile!

Talk about cute! The newest little Kramer has got the most precious little smile. Her whole face lights up.

David asked me if I was baby hungry.... and I said, "HELL NO!" I might be GRAND BABY hungry..... but I am DONE with raising kids myself.

Wow..... life is funny.

Last night was hilarious in some ways. At one point in time I was getting texts from 4 different people, phone calls from 3 different people... all at exactly the same time and I kept accidently hanging up on the callers....

But I ended up having two really awesome conversations. One with Esteban and one with Fernando. Both of these men are so nice. Fernando gets bonus points because he is LDS and VERY active. He is ward mission leader in his ward right now, and he has been a bishop and Stake Pres. He knows that I am struggling with church at the moment and he is just so sweet about it.

Both of these guys are dying to come to Salt Lake and meet me. And my fear is they are both going to come at the same TIME!! Fernando wanted to come for Thanksgiving, but decided that was too soon for him because he was just here in Oct for conference so he is thinking he will come at Christmas to visit his daughter.

Esteban has tons of money so he can come whenever he wants and I am not sure how soon that is going to be. Can I lose 75 pounds in two weeks? YIKES.

Anyhow, both of these guys are just very nice. Esteban speaks perfect english and is very easy to understand. Fernando speaks perfect Spanglish.... He speaks english better than he thinks he does. But he prefers spanish.

Anyhoooooooooooooo. Let's see who I am supposed to end up with (maybe neither?).

But it's nice to have attention.

Ha ha ha ha ha I knew this would happen.

There is a woman at work, who is the Nazi police when it comes to following "procedures". After she was hired, she wrote so many Procedures that have to be followed, that the office joke was that we are not allowed to fart unless it is in a procedure manual and then we have to document where we farted, how long it lasted, who smelled it (and get signatures) then make file copies and electronic back ups.

It is utterly ridiculous.

And now it is coming back to BITE this woman in the ass. (excuse me... in the BUTT) because NOBODY is following half of the procedures because they just are not feasible and are totally ridiculous and don't really apply to our company!!

But because they are not being followed, then when we get audited, it shows we are in violation for not doing something that she said we should be doing... but it is something that is MOOT for our office! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So NOW.... she is being forced to "Obsolete" all these procedures that she instituted. Which makes me laugh my butt off.

And so many people are mad at her because they have been written up for not following the procedures, but they are such stupid rules that make no sense.......... and should NEVER have been put in place.

This is the EXACT thing that caused me to go off and SCREAM at this woman a couple years ago. (I never lose my temper, but I sure did let loose on her over these procedures because I saw this coming at the time she instituted them). I was yelling at her so bad that people were coming out of their offices to see what was going on.

And now it takes every ounce of strength to bite my tongue and not say "I TOLD YOU SO!" when I see her.

Golllllly just thinking about it makes me get so stressed out and keyed up that I am already in a foul mood.

General procedures are essential in our business. But HER procedures were so thoroughly detailed that seriously... they just were not appropriate at all. I mean... it's like we were not allowed to think for ourselves, and we are not allowed to adapt to individual circumstances.... and if I chose to do something she would always say "Is that in our procedures? Show me where it is." And I would say "NO, it is NOT in our procedures and I don't CARE! This is how I am doing this! Because THIS IS HOW IT MAKES SENSE AND HOW IT WORKS!" We are talking stupid things here... like little index cards that I keep notes on for the engineers. If I forget to update one.... which happens a lot because I get busy.... then oh dear, I am in violation! Heaven forbid! (Nobody uses the cards anyway.... they just ASK me for the information).

and oooooh there were cards from back in the 1980's that had the wrong information. Well, la-dee-da! Big freaking deal! I have only been here for 5 years and obviously those cards were NEVER used even once during the past 5 years or I would have found the error and corrected it!!!

I am responsible for almost 10,000 Master Records/documents/ drawings..... and over 60,000 copies ---- does she seriously think I am on top of every single one for the past 30 years???

Well, anyhow.... she is having to get rid of all these stupid things she wrote, by making them "Obsolete" because they are stupid and dumb and not feasible and it just makes me want to dance with glee and set the stack on fire.

Saturday musings.....

I went to bed at 11pm last night, and woke up at 5am so I got up and came in to work to use the computer. I really need to get a computer at home that works.

I have been having some really bad neck pain the past week or two and it's been a battle to not turn to the last couple of Lortab I have left. But there is this fear in me that if I open that door, then the monster will come out and grab me. I don't want to go there.

So I started using a "Happy Light" at work. It's made by Verilux. It's supposed to make your brain think it's getting natural sunlight so you are more energized and happier. Well... I am definitely more energized lately. I keep waking up at 4, 5, and 6am bouncing out of bed ready for the day. But mood-wise, I think David would tell ya that I am CRANKY as a bear.

At work, I feel fine. But at home I am feeling so cranky and out of sorts at night. And I'm letting stupid little things get to me (which I hardly ever do), and I am mad at people that I hardly ever get mad at, and it's just weird. I don't think the light has anything to do with my crankiness. I just think I am feeling stressed out because it is the end of the year already and this year has just FLOWN by in a blink of an eye.

Well, I have a lot to do today. I need to bake brownies for a family baptism, and go to the store to get the stuff for broccoli soup, and make it (because it tastes better the next day), and I need to do laundry, and go to the baptism........ My bathroom needs to be cleaned.

I need a maid. Oh, wait. I used to be one. huh.

Please tell me when ----

this economy is going to TURN AROUND!! My stocks are worth nothing. My investments suck. My retirement account is going to allow me to live for about 6 months of retirement.

Christmas is coming and seriously... I am not shopping this year. David is growing out of his clothes faster than I can buy them. My car insurance jumped from $400 a year to $1800.

I need money to get a couple of surgeries done next year.

Geez. I think I am going to seriously start living on food storage for awhile. This is just nuts.

It's scary too. I have cut back on all I can. (Oh wait.... impulse buying would be an area I could definitely modify).

I'm behind on my church donations..... and that is a place I do NOT want to be.

An Interesting Read-----

I just finished reading this book. I really cannot say that I "liked" it.... but it was interesting. It's about a man whose little girl was abducted and murdered by a serial killer in a shack in the woods. The father, after years of grief, receives a letter in his mailbox from God inviting him to go to the shack for the weekend.

The man goes to the shack and meets the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, but NOT at all what you might expect. However, over the course of the weekend, the man goes through a rebirthing process, lots of therapy, so to speak, to come to terms with WHY this happened to his little girl.... why God let it happen, and ultimately his relationship with God on a very personal level.

It's indeed a work of fiction, and sometimes extremely sacriligious in my opinion, but it does present the Godhead in a way that I have NEVER thought of before. If you can get past the physical appearance and delve into the relationship apect it is interesting.

I suppose for someone who has no concept of religion, or a very basic one... they would enjoy this book. Since I already feel I have a very personal relationship with Diety and envision them in my OWN way..... I was sometimes put off by their portrayal in the book.

SPOILER ALERT:

Basically God the Father is portrayed as a sort of "Aunt Jemima" black woman..... Jesus is a redneck in a flannel shirt, and the Holy Ghost (named Sarayu) is a lot like Mrs. Whatsit in "A Wrinkle In Time".... a shimmer.

However, it is an interesting read, but you won't gain any deep insights or life changing bits of wisdom from this book. At least I didn't.

Merry Christmas Melly Belly

David and I were out last night and I saw this dress and could NOT resist it. I said, "I wish I had a little girl to buy this for!" and David said, "Well, why not Melanie?" So I said, "Hey! Yeah! Let's give it to her for Christmas!"

Pictures do not do it justice. It is just a gorgeous, sparkly dress.

It's a size 2, which is the smallest they had, so she is not going to be able to wear it for awhile. But when she does, I hope she gets a picture in it that I can have. LOL

LOL

Why didn't they make pacifiers like this when MY kids were little?

Too funny.

So for Halloween my friends Pam and Polly and I went to see the movie "Cirque de Freak: The Vampire's Assistant". It was ok. I wouldn't see it again.... but it was "ok". Not scary or anything. David is reading the book and says the book is better (the books always are better).

Then we went to Tepanyaki for sushi. There were like 20 people in the whole restaurant. The waiter said it was costing them more to stay open than what they were making. Well.... guess Halloween is not a night most people want to go out to dinner. Except the bah humbugs like me. LOL

I had bought the most amazing looking severed fingers to do a joke at work for Halloween and I totally FORGOT about them. Guess I will have to save it for April Fools. Tsk Tsk.

BEST SOUP I EVER MADE

Yesterday we had our company Halloween party/Luncheon and I made a double batch of Broccoli Cheese soup. I have never received so many compliments on something I made as I did on that soup. People were going back for seconds and thirds! It really did come out amazing. And I created it all myself!!

Here is the original recipe:

1/2 cup butter

1 onion, chopped

2 (16 oz bags) frozen chopped broccoli

4 (14.5 oz each) cans chicken broth

1 pound Velveeta processed cheese cut in cubes

2 cups milk

1 Tablespoon garlic powder

2/3 cups cornstarch

1 cup water.

In a stockpot, melt butter over medium heat. Cook onion in butter till soft. Stir in broccoli and cover with chicken broth. Simmer till broccoli is tender, about 10-15 minutes. Reduce heat, stir in cheese cubes until melted. Mix in milk and garlic powder. In small bowl stir cornstarch with water until dissolved. Stir into soup. Cook stirring frequently until thick.

Then.... this is MY VERSION with all my tweaks:

1/2 cup unsalted butter

2 large sweet onions, chopped

1 cup white wine (I used Rodney Strong brand of Sauvignon Blanc which is a PERFECT cooking wine. The alcohol cooks out, don't worry)

2 large carrots, peeled and grated

1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder

1 tea thyme

3 (12 oz bags) of Fresh broccoli florets (in the produce section)

2 (32 oz ea) boxes of chicken broth

3 TB flour

3 TB butter

2 cups whole milk

1 pound Velveeta Cheese, cubed

2 cups of cheddar-jack shredded cheese

Melt the butter in a large stock pot. Saute the onions and carrot for about 5 minutes over medium heat. Add the wine and saute a few more minutes till the onions are soft. Add broccoli florets, garlic powder, and thyme. Cover with chicken broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer 20 minutes. Set aside

In another large pot, melt the 3 TB butter over medium heat. Add flour and stir until flour is lightly golden (about 2 minutes). Gradually whisk in the 2 cups of milk. Stir till smooth (there may be some lumps). Add the cheese and stir til cheese is melted.

Puree the broccoli mixture in a blender, just pulsing till smooth. If you want some chunks in it then don't puree the whole thing. Add to the cheese mixture. Heat over low heat until ready to serve. Tastes even better the second day. 12 servings.

ding dong, ding dong....

I'm thinking I hear wedding bells in the not so distant future.

It's going to be weird to think of my son Michael as being MARRIED.

Fortunately I like Bryttan very much.

Happy!

I am feeling so content. I am just HAPPY. I have not felt this way for a long time. It's so nice. Nice to have my best friend back in my life.

Nice to have a wonderful family. Smart, responsible, sweet children.

Nice to have a comfortable place to live (even if I don't own it... just rent it) and a good quality car to drive.

Nice to have many blessings in my life.

I'm content. I'm happy. I'm feeling at peace.

It's a GREAT feeling.

Welcome little one!

Newest member of my side of the family.... 6 pound 10 oz. baby girl Afton Elise Victoria Ralston.

Dang.... she's a cutie.

18 inches long.

sweet.

Feel good ditties.

I like to do things for people. I have a generous nature. Too generous some would say. But I always think of the scripture about if a man asks you for your coat, give him your cloak too, or if he asks you to go a mile with him, go two miles with him.

I also believe in Karma. Send out good and it will come back to you.

Back when Hurricane Katrina hit a few years ago, I somehow found a gal on the internet named Christine. I honestly do NOT know WHERE I found her, but I read her story of how she and her son (she was a single mom with a 4 year old boy) lost everything in the hurricane and they had to swim for their lives, and there were bodies floating in the water, and the devastation was awful.... and she lost family members, etc.... I wanted to help her. My son David and I sent her money, Walmart gift cards, clothing, personal items, and the one thing her son lost that was so hard for him was his little gameboy. So David donated his very own gameboy and all his games to this little boy that he didn't even know. It was a big sacrifice for David but he did it willingly and to this day he still remembers how good he felt about it. As a result, she and I have kept in touch via email, and sent each other Christmas cards, and hope to meet in person one of these days.

I made sandwiches for the men's homeless shelter once. It was a relief society activity but it was one of the funnest ones I have ever attended.

I've raised close to $5000 over the past 2 years for the Breast Cancer walk. And participated in the walk. I wrote the book about my sister-in-law's cancer experience and published at my own expense. I have not made a dime off it. In fact.... I spent almost $4000 on it and have received not even half of it back..... but I know that book touches people's hearts and that is all that counts.

I have had friends who were down on their luck and needed money and if I have it.... I give it. I don't do it conditionally. I do it UNconditionally. My philosophy is that the Lord put us here to help others. He gave me means to do it. I am not going to see someone suffer if I have the means to help. Whether it's food, money, time... I don't care. And if giving to them means I have to make sacrifices..... well, isn't that what it's all about???

I have donated furniture and LOTS of clothing to an Indian reservation in New Mexico.

I have been known to take food to people and leave it on their doorsteps when I know they need it.

I have limited means.... and in this day and age, people may think I am not wise to give of my substance so freely, but I feel an obligation to do it. I just HAVE to do it, otherwise I feel so selfish.

I think everyone deserves the chance to be loved and cared for, and given the opportunity to better their lives and their own situations. And if I can be a part of that...... I am happy to do it.

I bake a lot of goodies and sell them at work.... but I don't make a profit on it. I do it because I like to do it.

Am I weird???

I'm not trying to toot my own horn..... or ask for praise, or credit or anything. I do this stuff anonymously most of the time. And I am just writing about it here, because I love the concept of Pay It Forward and hope that people reading this will start doing good things for others....

Or at least that my family will understand me a little more.

Sooo stinkin' cute!

David has his choir concert last night. He couldn't sing because he has not recovered his voice from having the flu, but he looked really good in his tux and he mouthed the words. What a trooper.

Angela is out of town so Mark brought Melly Belly to the concert. I think when they sat down, Melanie thought I was her momma because she got all excited and smiley and started grabbing for me and then sort of did a double take with a look like "Ok... you are not who I thought you were, but hey, want to hold me anyway?"

It was so cute. She is such a smiley girl. After the show David paraded her around out in the foyer (he is such a proud big brother). We ran into Patty and Todd from the neighborhood and Patty points to Melanie and mouths at me "Who's baby is that?" I said "She's Marks." and Patty looked like she was going to fall over her jaw. I don't think she is so surprised really that he has a kid, but more that I was over with him, holding her, and talking to him..... shrug. What is the big deal? I'm thrilled. I like Angela a lot, and Melanie is like my....... niece????

It took a lot of work for Mark and I to keep our relationship civil so we can have this kind of family. We did it for the kids and we put our own feelings aside and to me it is a success. When we were at the hospital when Brian had his pneumonia.... we were his PARENTS and we were concerned for our son and we hugged each other in the hallway..... and it wasn't weird at all. We sat in the ER with Angela on one side of me and Mark on the other.... and Angela was giving me hugs.... and it was not weird.....

At Karin and Brett's wedding (the ring ceremony)... David escorted me and Angela out in the procession at the same time... and it was not weird.

Angela brought Melanie to my house so I could see her when she was 3 days old.... and it was such a sweet moment. Not weird at all.

I guess I'm lucky that I am very open, and that I can have this kind of relationship with my family. I have changed a lot inside over the past 6 years. I am able to love people unconditionally and I don't judge anybody anymore. There is no more black and white with me. I see the good in people and accept their faults and try to help people improve.

I think I found my calling in life.

My FAVORITE time of the Year....

Growing up in Vermont means that

my favorite time of year is Autumn.

For people who have never experienced autumn in New

England... you are really missing out.

Mom and Dad would pick a Saturday and we would

hop in the car and drive all over the mountains looking

at the leaves. We'd stop at little shops and farms

scattered around and have apple cider (FRESH) and

pumpkin pie.

We would look in antique shops and

pick up things for Thanksgiving or Halloween.

It was always a really fun day.

I can remember walking outside in the brisk air,

and listening to the leaves CRUNCH under my feet.

Usually there was a fire burning in either a pit or in somebody's fireplace/woodstove so the smell of burning wood was in the air.

My cheeks would get red and cold from the chill in the air.

I remember how good it just SMELLED in the air. The smell of leaves, and smoke, and the fading of summer....... gosh it just takes me back to think of it. I almost smell it as I sit here and write.

We'd find slices of apple pie for sale, or grab a fritter with the cider.

Sometimes we'd be up in the mountain (or hills) and there would be a stream coming out of a rock and we'd stop and drink from it. (Boy am I surprised we never got giardia or anything). It would be ICE cold water, the purest tasting imaginable. Untainted by chemicals or filtration.

We'd often see deer in the meadows, and see flocks of ducks and geese heading south.

I remember we'd be gone the whole day, driving all around Vermont, looking at the beauty of the leaves. Pictures just do not do it justice. You really have to see it in person. I hope someday I can take all of my kids to VT during the fall so they can see it first hand.

I walk for Life.

This Saturday is the breast cancer walk. I'm excited to do it again this year. Raising money has been like pulling TEETH. Our company president asked me today how much money I still needed to raise and I told him we were $900 short of our goal. He started asking me if specific people (managers) had donated... and I had to be honest and tell him that the majority of them had NOT. So he was going to put some pressure on em. LOL.

My poor David has been sick with stomach flu this weekend. I feel so bad for him. I also hope I don't get it. I need to do this walk on Saturday and I don't want to be ill.

Had fun with Francisco over at Marissa's on Friday. We watched a marathon of "America's Funniest Home Videos" and had popcorn and played with the kiddies and the kitties.

Got home around midnight. Marissa thinks he is good for me. Guess time will tell.