City in the Clouds.....

I think this is a really cool photo. I'd call it "City in the Clouds" or "Heaven's Suburb"....

Utah had ground fog like this the other day and as David and I drove to school we saw a condo complex that looked just like this.

This is also a cool photo. I love ice. I don't like driving in it, but I think there is a magical quality to ice sculptures and ice in general.

So seeing the bottom of this pier is just really neat.

Today is Friday and even though I have a ton of work to do and it's so quiet here because half the people are gone... I just can't focus and get anything done. I'm dilly dallying around and it's making me crazy. Pam and Polly and I are heading out at 4pm to go see the opening of "The Haunting in Connecticut" and then I can go home and watch something funny so I can sleep tonight. LOL. I don't know why I do that to myself but I just love scary movies. I don't like some of them, but I do like the more mild ones.

My ear is sending shooting, sharp pains through my ruptured eardrum. (Yep, it IS definitely ruptured).

I found a new Primary care physician. I am NOT going back to St. Mark's family practice. They seem to screw up EVERYTHING that I go to them for. I have coworkers who recommended this new doc who is located in the medical building at Pioneer Hospital. I still prefer to get any tests, surgeries, procedures, etc... done at St. Mark's hospital because they are wonderful at the hospital. But just everyday simple doctor stuff can be done at the new office.

And I still have my pain doctor at St. Mark's Pain center. He's good and I will stick with him. I do think I am going to save up money to go back to Master Lu for accupuncture again. When I went to him, I had 10 treatments and did not need a pain pill for 6 months. When I went to Dr. Kris for accupuncture I spent the same amount of money and it did absolutely NOTHING at all. I believe Master Lu knows his stuff better even though I can't understand a word he says. He speaks with a heavy Chinese accent.

Well, the boss is heading over here. Gotta look busy.

Homemade Twix bars

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Crust:

1 1/4 cups flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup Butter plus 2 additional tablespoons butter

Mix and bake in 8 x 8 pan for 20 minutes.

Caramel:

2 TB corn syrup

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk

Cook on medium heat, stirring constantly. Bring to a boil and cook for 5 minutes. Turn off heat and continue to stir/whip in pan for additional two minutes until it becomes a little bit thicker. Then pour over crust and allow to cool.

Chocolate:

Melt 2 cups white or milk chocolate chips and pour over the caramel. Cool. Cut and enjoy!

UPDATE: WEDNESDAY

I made these last night and used 1 cup of melted white chocolate which I spread on half of it, and I used 1 cup of semi-sweet choc on the other half. I did NOT like semi-sweet and would definitely encourage using MILK CHOCOLATE chips instead. The original recipe called for semi-sweet, but I have changed it now to say white or milk chocolate.

Also, do not store them in the refrigerator or you will break your teeth on them because the caramel will harden like a brick. After I spread the chips on, I did put them in the fridge for only ten minutes so the chocolate would harden up enough for me to cut them and try them.

Keep them at room temperature, covered well so they don't dry out. (If they last that long. )

And The Mountains Shall be Laid Low.....

A look at Alaska's Mt. Redoubt blowing it's stack Monday. Scary times these.

I saw Brian on Sunday when he came for dinner. He was hurting pretty bad in his back and I hope he gets it looked at by a doctor because I think he hurt himself when he fell. He was in a lot of pain and was moving very slowly.

He claims it was from laying on the ER gurney for 5 hours, but I think it's more than that.

David has his Rebel Men concert tomorrow night. Next year he wants to be in the school Concert Choir where they have to wear tuxes for every performance. Which, means, of course, I have to buy a tux..... ouch.

Utah is getting hit with snow again. So much for spring eh? David was threatening to kill MR. Groundhog for lying.

I have a great recipe I am going to post later. If you like Twix bars, you will like this. It's not calorie friendly but the best foods, in my opinion, aren't. LOL

Guess who is home?

Little Markie who was in Primary Children's with RSV for a week, has come home as of yesterday. He had to bring oxygen home with him, but at least they let him leave the hospital.

Brian went to work yesterday. He says he feels like he has full lung capacity back. They had him doing a spirometer and he can get it to 100% now.

My ear still kills. I am pretty sure the eardrum is ruptured. I'm so mad at that M.A. I could spit. But whatever.

My house is a disaster. Oh my heck.... spending time recovering from my epidural injection....... then Brian going in the hospital....... means I have not done laundry or cleaned for a looooooong time. That is what I MUST do tomorrow. My bathrooms are so ick... and even though I did 3 loads of laundry.... it barely made a dent.

I hate living in a house that is dirty. So tomorrow I am going to grab a Sobe No Fear energy drink, pop music on my CD player in the kitchen and go to town cleaning!!

Ok, well, now I am at work and just learned the VP of Sales quit and today is his last day so now I pray they hire a SINGLE, good looking man to replace him...... (I had a dream long ago that I would find my next husband because he would be an employee here. At the time I thought "Huh, that will NEVER happen, we are not hiring! " But since that time we have hired several people and now we have another position open..... sooooooo..... we shall see.... LOL.

Yays and Woes........

First the YAY: Brian came home from the hospital on Tuesday afternoon. He spent yesterday resting at home and was planning to go back to work today!

Woes: I have a problem with getting earwax impacted in my ears. Two weeks ago I tried ear lavage myself to get it out and didn't. I have had a ringing in my right ear ever since and then it started to hurt and felt like there was fluid in it so I went to the doctor yesterday.

The nurse or MA, did ear lavage on me and nearly made me pass out. She used so much force and pressure that she MADE MY EAR BLEED! It was not bleeding before... but it was bleeding after and today it is STILL bleeding and hurts so bad I could cry. And she didn't even get the wax out! Some of it came, but the rest is impacted so tight it won't budge and I could not stand the pain to let her keep trying.

We were told (when I trained to be a Medical Assistant) that you do need to squirt the syringe firmly, but NOT real hard........ and this gal just BLASTED it and refused to listen to me tell her she was doing it incorrectly. She said, "Hard and fast is how it has to be done."

Well, I think she made things worse and possibly ruptured my eardrum.

I am going to find a different doctor. I don't like that place at all anymore.

Oh, and on top of that.... they didn't even give me antibiotics so I am SURE this is going to end up as a raging ear infection. I am so mad.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Power of Prayer works

I am telling you..... Prayer works. Brian was in BAD BAD shape Sunday and he is doing SO MUCH BETTER it is a real miracle.

Not sure if he will come home today or not. Waiting to hear what the doctor says. They are running a gazillion tests on him. EEG on his brain, MRI, CT scans, x-rays on his chest. Ultrasounds on his heart. They are suspecting that he has something going on with his heart that causes his blood pressure to plummet and that is what triggers the seizure.

I hope they find out what is causing this and how to fix it.

A Mother's Worst Nightmare.........

I wanted to make you aware of what is going on with my oldest son Brian (age 23).

When he was in 8th grade he had a grand mal seizure in class. Tests were done. Nothing found. They said it was a fluke.

4 years later (almost to the day!) when he got his wisdom teeth out and was coming out of the anesthesia, he had another grand mal seizure and they attributed it to the anesthesia. Nothing was done.

Yesterday he woke up and felt ill, thought he was going to throw up, so he went in the bathroom. He had a seizure, and when it happened he passed out and hit his head very hard. He bit his tongue and slammed his nose which caused a HUGE amount of bleeding. The way he landed, the blood did not go out of him, but he aspirated it into his lung. The doctors say he had to have been unconscious a good 20 minutes because his right lung is nearly full of blood. He almost drowned in his own blood. Luckily he came to, but he could not walk or breathe and he literally crawled out of the bathroom and down the hall (he lives with his dad and step-mom. They were upstairs and not aware of what had happened). He was making some terrible moaning sounds which caught his dad's attention and so Mark went down and found him. He yelled to Angela to call 911. The ambulance was there in 3 minutes and transported him to the emergency room.

When I got to the ER he was just covered with blood, all over his face, his neck, his arms, his hands, his stomach.... it was very unnerving. After 5 hours in the ER they transferred him to Intermediate Care (a step down from the ICU). He can’t breathe very well at all and they are pumping him full of antibiotics to try to prevent bacterial pneumonia. He's on oxygen, but even with the oxygen his saturation is not very good. They gave him a nubulizer treatment, but that also did not seem to help much.

After they got him in his room he had an episode where his heart rate plummeted to 30 bpm (and actually hit 10 at one point); (normal is 90-100) and so now they suspect he has something going on with his heart. And they think that whatever is going on with the heart may be what is triggering the seizure. He will be in the IMC at least 4 days, maybe more. The doctors said it is very serious. (My mom died from aspirating contents into her lung so I know how bad it can be).

They need to get the pneumonia taken care of before they can concentrate on figuring out what else is going on. He is a very ill young man. It breaks my heart to see him so helpless when he is normally this big 6 foot 5, 230 pound athlete. I call him my "gentle giant".

On the positive side he is young, extremely healthy otherwise, exercises every day, eats fruits and vegetables, doesn’t drink soda, doesn’t take so much as an aspirin, so we hope and pray that works in his favor.

Please keep him in your prayers.

UPDATE: 11:30am, MONDAY, MARCH 16 ---

Brian had a good night and this morning his breathing has improved dramatically! (Back down to 21 respirations instead of 43)

His blood pressure has been good. No more scary drops. So they took him off the continuous monitor and just come in to check that every couple hours.

They had him up and walking a few steps. Not a marathon, but he walked a little and didn't fall down so that's excellent.

He ate breakfast. (you know he has to be feeling better if he was hungry right?)

His color is much better. (yesterday he was an awful blue)

His response is really amazing. The doctors were preparing us that he was going to get worse before he got better. He's still not out of the woods yet, but WOW, he has improved dramatically and I am so thankful!

I am feeling MUCH more optimistic and extremely relieved!!! Prayer works. Yes indeed.

Developments

Introducing baby Mark Joseph L. who was born on Wednesday, March 4, 2009. He weighed 8 pounds 5 oz. He is my friend Lisa's grandson.

But today........ he is fighting for his life. He has that stupid RSV and is in Primary Children's hospital. He is having a lot of difficulty breathing. They said he may be in the hospital for several days. The priest just went over and gave him a blessing.

They told us to expect him to get worse before he gets better. I know so many babies die from this virus -- it is very scary.

I am keeping him in my thoughts and prayers.

The Status on "A"

I can't remember the last time I actually talked to him on the phone but we have kept in touch via text messages. His life is yet again in a downward spiral. Because of the economy he has been cut to 25 hours per week at work. As a result, he missed a couple of car payments so the owner of the car reported it as "stolen" and so there is a warrant out for A's arrest (so he says) Not sure if that is true or not. He can't pay his rent and his roommate won't cut him a deal on paying less so according to "A" he is going to Puerto Rico on the 19th to take care of business with his mother's house(which is unoccupied and he owns it) and then he will go back to Florida for 3 weeks till his layoff is official and then he moves to Puerto Rico. How he is going to afford the plane fares is beyond me... if he can't pay his bills, how's he going to do that? Doesn't make sense to me. Which is why I tend to think he is blowing smoke and won't follow through with it.

I've heard it all before and it never happens. But he IS having trouble finding a job in FL because of the economy. FL is a huge tourist state and nobody is going on vacations, so jobs are being eliminated.

I know when he told me this he was hoping I would offer to let him come to Utah, or send him $$ but that is NOT going to happen and I hope it finally makes it clear to him that we are just friends now and I don't want anything more than that. I still love him and care about him, I always will. But I know that we would not STAY happily married.

I seriously doubt he is going to move back to PR. I think this is what he always says when he is getting desperate. It used to get a reaction out of me because I know if he moves back there he is going to end up worse off than he has ever been. So I would always tell him he can't go there and I'd help him out.... and so on and so on.

Not this time.

keeping fingers crossed

I had my cervical spine epidural on Friday. They gave me 10 mg of valium under my tongue because they wanted me relaxed, but not asleep. (I thought they were putting me out for this, but found out no). The gal who was trying to start an IV in me was dropping things all over the floor... and she blew my veins TWICE. She acted like she had never done this before. (Maybe she hasn't?) so she finally called in the other nurse who got it in on the first stick with no problem.

They had me sit there for a few minutes and kept asking me if I was "feeling the Valium" yet and I kept saying "No" because I didn't feel any different.

I have a high tolerance to medications so I really wasn't expecting to feel anything weird. We went in to the procedure room and they got me up on the table. I had to lay face down with my chest propped up on pillows and my head hanging down with my forehead on another pillow. It took some manuvering to get me in the right position. But we got it. The doctor, the nurses, the x-ray tech, and everybody came in and they all kept asking me "So are you feeling the valium yet?" I kept telling them "No... I feel just the same."

They had the radio on in there and so the doctor started singing and then he said, "Well, you're not laughing hysterically so I think you ARE feeling the Valium." I said, "Why would I laugh? You have a nice singing voice." and everybody laughed and the doctor said, "Ok. now I KNOW she's feeling the valium. Let's begin."

I honestly didn't feel like I was feeling any different. But whatever.

So they washed off the area with betadine and then they draped me and that is where I had a bit of a problem because I am claustrophobic and I forgot to tell them that so I am laying there face down with my head covered.... I tried not to panic. I just closed my eyes and kept reminding myself it was only going to be about 15 to 20 minutes and I could handle it....

It hurt quite a bit when they put the needle in. Sort of feels like a NAIL going into your spine. If anybody has had an epidural with a birth, you know what I mean.... imagine that feeling in your neck.

They injected the stuff and it was a burning hot sensation that was not pleasant, and freaked me out for a second. I told them it was really hot and he said "That's normal. It will go away in a minute." And it did.

Then, I was done and they took me back to another room where I got dressed and they gave me cookies and sprite and had me sit so they could take my vital signs for about 20 minutes.

Suddenly my LEFT arm got all numb and tingly. My thumb and my fingers were numb and it was numb half-way up my arm. I told the nurse and she looked like "Uh-oh" and she left. But when she came back, she said the doctor said it was normal and from the position I was laying in on the table and if it didn't get better before I left, then he would come in. But about 10 minutes later it was back to normal.

My friend Lisa picked me up and drove me home. I got home at 10 am. I immediately went to bed and I slept until 6:30pm.!!!! David made me some mac n cheese and then I went back to sleep at 7:30 and slept clear through til 8am the next morning! I also slept most of the day Saturday. My neck area feels like I got hit by a truck, but I think the medicine is starting to work now because I haven't needed any Lortab.

I hope this is the magic bullet that helps me get my life back.

Well, I have managed to shower today, and write this, but now I am tired again so I am going to lay down.

This is a MUST READ!!!

Oh my gosh. I used to be an avid reader and always had 3 or 4 books in progress. Then my eyes went weird and I have difficulty reading anymore. But I am reading this book and I can't put it down! It's a true story told by a woman named Immaculee Ilibagiza who lost most of her family during the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. It's the most compelling, amazing, riveting story I have read in a long time.

I am recommending it to everybody I know. My kids, my coworkers. My neighbors.

This gal had to hide in a closet sized bathroom with 7 other women for THREE months to avoid being brutally murdered. It's just an amazing and horrific story but wow.... it's a must read.

Woes, Whaaas and Duhs!

First the woes: My poor father who is 78 years old, frail, blind, and lives alone, had a low blood sugar on Friday while he was outside. He passed out and laid in the snow for 2 hours! When he came to, he could not get up. He does have a Life Alert bracelet/monitor so he pushed the button. Help arrived and transported him to the hospital where they stabilized his blood sugar and warmed him up (he was hypothermic). It just makes me cry to think of my dad laying helpless in the snow for hours.....

Now the Whaaaaa! I watched "Marley and Me." The book was way better than the movie, but I have to admit that at the end of the movie I bawled like nobody's business. I didn't just sniff, I WAILED. I have not cried that hard in a long time.

And finally the "duh".... my son-in-law gave me several packages of salmon and halibut from Alaska that he caught. I had everybody over for dinner sunday and told them several times during the week we were having "Maple glazed salmon"......... When we sat down to eat, Brett said, "This halibut is amazing!" I said, "Huh? It's not halibut... it's.... uh..... salmon....." He said, "Nooooooooooo, salmon is pink.... this is white. This is halibut."

I knew that. DUH!!!!