Stormy Times

I have been under so much stress lately I am not sure how much more I can take. I am getting major heart pain and palpitations. It's scaring me.

Brian was in the hospital and that stressed me. David was having fainting spells. My friend's baby was sick and in the hospital with RSV when he was only a couple days old. My daughter is having thyroid problems again. I completely cut "A" out of my life for good and ever. I realized I cannot even be friends with him no matter what. And even though it's for the best... it is still very, very difficult to go through it. I never want to speak to him ever again. He is part of the past and the "dark age" and I just wish I never met him. He screwed up my life in ways you can't even imagine. But I let him. And now I pay for it.

And now my dad is ill. He was in the ER yesterday for hours. He has an intestinal blockage and it is now reached the point with his health that he just CANNOT take care of himself and we need to get him into a care center. Even if it's against his will. He wanted them to keep him at the hospital, but they told him he wasn't "sick enough" to stay. Donna spent the night there. I haven't talked to her this morning so I don't know how it's going.

Work is very very busy, which, in this economy is a good thing, but it just adds more stress.

My body hurts. My neck and head and ears, and back, and hip, and elbow just pain me daily.

I'm scared for my health, my future, my family, everything. I am all alone and it is really hard.