HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The day after I got to Vermont, we received 2+ feet of snow.

Two days later we got another foot. My car was completely buried.... only the mirrors were sticking out (I have a photo that I will get on here eventually).

It took several days to shovel out. So dad and I were "snowed in" literally for most of the time I was there. It was hard work... he burns a wood stove for heat so I had to shovel a path to the woodpile several times... take the wheel barrow out and push it through the snow.... load it up with wood, push it back to the house, haul the wood in the house and stack it, and repeat. Over and over.

I don't know how my dad, at age 77, in his poor health, does it every day. He can carry in two armfuls of wood, but then has to sit for 10 minutes because his back and knees are in excruciating pain.

Speaking of pain.... I have only had TWO -- count em... TWO pain pills in the past 2 weeks. I cleaned my dads house top to bottom, I hauled wood, I shoveled a TON of snow, but I did not have pain bad enough to take a pill. (so ha! take that Dr. Holtye who thinks I am a drug seeker. I'm NOT.)

I see the pain management doc on Jan. 14 and I am excited to do so. I feel good about this place. They are going to put me in physical therapy again and hopefully find a non-narcotic med that will help me with the pain issues. I had an hour long intake interview on Monday and the gal was one of the nicest people I have ever talked to. We really hit it off.

I got David a Wii for Christmas and that gives a GREAT workout. I love it. Brian bought me an INCREDIBLY cool recumbant bike which has not arrived yet, but when it does, I start exercising on that and I am so excited to do so!

2009 is the year to watch me SHRINK. I am already eating WAY better than ever and moving around more than ever. I feel good about the changes and hope I keep em up!

New Year Resolutions

I leave for Vermont the day after tomorrow. I will not have access to a computer until I return on Dec. 29th so Merry Christmas to my readers!

Next year I will begin a journey. Kind of a rebirth I guess. I need to make a lot of changes in my life.

I saw my doctor today and apparently because I get pain medication from her AND I got pain medication after my surgery in September, red flags went up all over the place and they accused me of "double dipping". I assured her it wasn't what she thought and I was not double dosing myself at all. But the office no longer is willing to manage my chronic pain problem and they have referred me to an "Interventional Pain Medicine" doctor. I'm like "INTERVENTIONAL???" Like REHAB??? Do they consider me an addict?? Lordy I hope not. I think of an "addict" as a person who abuses drugs to get a high. I admit I am DEPENDENT on my pain meds. I have to have them to function. If I don't take them I am in a LOT of pain. But I don't take more than two per day. I do not consider that abuse. I take one in the morning. One in the afternoon. And I try to take over the counter stuff BEFORE I take the prescription because if I CAN manage the pain with it, then I'm happy to do so.

Well, truth be told, I would like nothing better than to get OFF pain medication. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. But I know it's going to be a rough process and not a lot of fun. I know I will need to come here to vent my feelings a lot. Writing is therapy for me.

She has told me that I HAVE to lose weight. She wants me back in 4 months and wants 20 pounds off me by then.

So... I am waiting for the pain place to call me to schedule an appt.

All of the treatments I have tried for the past 14 years: physical therapy - Went to 3 different PT's -- the exercise just aggravates the condition. Did not help me. Ran out of money and had to quit.

Massage and Electric Stimulation combined with heat and cold: That helped a lot. But again, I ran out of money and had to quit.

Chiropractics: Went to 3 different chiropractic clinics. I can't get adjusted without being totally doped up on muscle relaxants and I hate them... the adjustments don't feel good to me. I can't relax. And the last one I went to put my neck in traction which made things MUCH worse. Again, ran out of money and had to quit.

Accupuncture - went to two different accupuncture places. The first one worked very well. I did not need a pain pill for 6 months but the guy did not speak english and so I did not like to go there because I don't understand him at all. The second doc spoke english, but I spent $600 and the treatments did NOTHING. Again, ran out of money and had to quit. Was not covered by insurance. I might go back to the chinese guy again. It worked.

Reiki - I am a second level Reiki practicioner. Learned it specifically to do it on myself. But it's not enough.

Meditation - I just fall asleep. I cannot meditate and stay awake.

Other drugs: I have taken Flexeril, and Bextra, Vioxx, Excedrin, 800mg Advil, tylenol, naproxen, all kinds. They caused me to get esophageal stricture which required surgery. I don't want to do that again. I dislike muscle relaxants because they make me absolutely loopy and unable to function.

The Lortab has been the cheapest method of pain management. I take two per day. I am not pain free, but I am able to function. And it's just $10 a month. So that is why I have opted to stick with it. But my doctor is not going to refill it again. And so that is why she is sending me to the pain doc.

I am more than happy to find alternatives. Believe me. But I know I'm going to go through withdrawal because I've taken it for YEARS and my body is used to it.

So, 2009 is my new beginning. My year long makeover. By next Christmas I will be a new woman. I am going to chronicle my journey here. I can always use a cheering section.

Whew and Whew!

Our company has training every year and I have to do part of it. This morning I made it through my one hour presentation despite having a major toothache.

David saw the cardiologist yesterday and has nothing wrong with his heart which is GREAT news. He has been advised to increase his salt and water intake. Hopefully that will do the trick.

Our company is being very generous this year and is giving us all the days off between Dec. 25 and Jan. 5 as PAID holidays. Woo hoo! AND they are giving us our bonuses. For me, since I have only been here 4 years, the bonus is not a lot, but every bit helps. And I really did not anticipate we would get a bonus since they are shutting down and giving us the days off with pay. So it's nice that we get both. I sent a thank-you to the president of 0ur company for doing that.

The REAL Meaning of Christmas

It's not the shopping, the gifts, the food, the snow, the songs, the decorations, the tree, the parties and the Ho Ho Ho of the big fat man in a red suit.

Nope.

This picture reflects what Christmas REALLY is.

Don't lose sight of it.

The Sun has set on another Life....

Across the street from me lived the sweetest couple in the world. Lee and Athalee Nielson. Lee, the husband, passed away last night at 9:30pm. He was home, surrounded by friends and family.

The man was sick almost his entire life. He had cancer in nearly EVERY part of his body possible. Yet he survived. He was a walking miracle.

And he NEVER complained. He was always so optimistic and so happy and thankful for everything.

I absolutely adored him. And his wife is a sweetheart too. I feel so sad for her.

Especially hard when these things happen during the holidays.

Nothing Like STRESS for the Holidays....

I took David to the doctor yesterday to see about the fainting spells. They did an EKG and drew blood. He sent us home with a glucometer, and an appt to see a cardiac specialist at Primary Children's hospital. If none of that shows anything, he wants to do an MRI on his brain.

David had another bad episode last night and this morning. I'm worried about the kid.

I saw my own doctor this morning and she told me my blood pressure is dangerously high.... -- it was 175 over 80... and if it has not come down over the next 2 weeks, she is putting me on blood pressure meds. I'm sure it's high just because I'm stressed out over David. At least I hope that's all it is. But I have been having chest pains lately... though I have been trying to ignore them.

I just can't deal with all of this right now.

Merry Christmas!

Hey, the Kramer clan got together last night and managed to take a photograph! Oh wait, I better say the Kramer-Lamoreaux clan.

I've been missing my mom a lot this past weekend. I watched "Holiday Inn" with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, and also "White Christmas" with the same guys. Mom used to like those movies.

David goes to the doctor this morning to find out what is going on and why he is fainting. I actually suspect it might be anxiety. This morning as I took him to school he told me he suddenly felt like he had "stage fright." I hope he is doing ok. I'd much rather deal with panic attacks than diabetes or vascular problems.

Well, I am at work, so I better actually GET to work.