It happened again.

I haven't had a full blown panic attack in quite a long time.
I had one Saturday.
It was brought on by the stress of the audit.
It hit me at a moment when I wasn't even thinking of the audit.
I was driving.
On the freeway.
Going 65 mph
It. Was. Terrifying.
I thought I was going to die.
I thought I was going to pass out and slam into the concrete wall.
My heart was pounding. I was dizzy. I felt like I was leaving my body. I had a metallic taste in my mouth (this is normal for me when I get an adrenaline rush), I was cold, clammy, nauseated, freaking out.

I had to pull over when I got off the freeway.

And breathe.

And then I got angry.
Angry that stress can affect me this way.
I didn't want it to.
I tried to chill out and relax on Friday night.
But it was the way my body copes with stress. It just flares into a full blown attack.
It was just horrible.

and then Sunday I was sick as a dog all day.

Got hit with a diverticulitis attack.

My body is at war with itself. Panic ATTACK. Diverticulitis ATTACK.

I want it to stop.