HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The day after I got to Vermont, we received 2+ feet of snow.

Two days later we got another foot. My car was completely buried.... only the mirrors were sticking out (I have a photo that I will get on here eventually).

It took several days to shovel out. So dad and I were "snowed in" literally for most of the time I was there. It was hard work... he burns a wood stove for heat so I had to shovel a path to the woodpile several times... take the wheel barrow out and push it through the snow.... load it up with wood, push it back to the house, haul the wood in the house and stack it, and repeat. Over and over.

I don't know how my dad, at age 77, in his poor health, does it every day. He can carry in two armfuls of wood, but then has to sit for 10 minutes because his back and knees are in excruciating pain.

Speaking of pain.... I have only had TWO -- count em... TWO pain pills in the past 2 weeks. I cleaned my dads house top to bottom, I hauled wood, I shoveled a TON of snow, but I did not have pain bad enough to take a pill. (so ha! take that Dr. Holtye who thinks I am a drug seeker. I'm NOT.)

I see the pain management doc on Jan. 14 and I am excited to do so. I feel good about this place. They are going to put me in physical therapy again and hopefully find a non-narcotic med that will help me with the pain issues. I had an hour long intake interview on Monday and the gal was one of the nicest people I have ever talked to. We really hit it off.

I got David a Wii for Christmas and that gives a GREAT workout. I love it. Brian bought me an INCREDIBLY cool recumbant bike which has not arrived yet, but when it does, I start exercising on that and I am so excited to do so!

2009 is the year to watch me SHRINK. I am already eating WAY better than ever and moving around more than ever. I feel good about the changes and hope I keep em up!

New Year Resolutions

I leave for Vermont the day after tomorrow. I will not have access to a computer until I return on Dec. 29th so Merry Christmas to my readers!

Next year I will begin a journey. Kind of a rebirth I guess. I need to make a lot of changes in my life.

I saw my doctor today and apparently because I get pain medication from her AND I got pain medication after my surgery in September, red flags went up all over the place and they accused me of "double dipping". I assured her it wasn't what she thought and I was not double dosing myself at all. But the office no longer is willing to manage my chronic pain problem and they have referred me to an "Interventional Pain Medicine" doctor. I'm like "INTERVENTIONAL???" Like REHAB??? Do they consider me an addict?? Lordy I hope not. I think of an "addict" as a person who abuses drugs to get a high. I admit I am DEPENDENT on my pain meds. I have to have them to function. If I don't take them I am in a LOT of pain. But I don't take more than two per day. I do not consider that abuse. I take one in the morning. One in the afternoon. And I try to take over the counter stuff BEFORE I take the prescription because if I CAN manage the pain with it, then I'm happy to do so.

Well, truth be told, I would like nothing better than to get OFF pain medication. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. But I know it's going to be a rough process and not a lot of fun. I know I will need to come here to vent my feelings a lot. Writing is therapy for me.

She has told me that I HAVE to lose weight. She wants me back in 4 months and wants 20 pounds off me by then.

So... I am waiting for the pain place to call me to schedule an appt.

All of the treatments I have tried for the past 14 years: physical therapy - Went to 3 different PT's -- the exercise just aggravates the condition. Did not help me. Ran out of money and had to quit.

Massage and Electric Stimulation combined with heat and cold: That helped a lot. But again, I ran out of money and had to quit.

Chiropractics: Went to 3 different chiropractic clinics. I can't get adjusted without being totally doped up on muscle relaxants and I hate them... the adjustments don't feel good to me. I can't relax. And the last one I went to put my neck in traction which made things MUCH worse. Again, ran out of money and had to quit.

Accupuncture - went to two different accupuncture places. The first one worked very well. I did not need a pain pill for 6 months but the guy did not speak english and so I did not like to go there because I don't understand him at all. The second doc spoke english, but I spent $600 and the treatments did NOTHING. Again, ran out of money and had to quit. Was not covered by insurance. I might go back to the chinese guy again. It worked.

Reiki - I am a second level Reiki practicioner. Learned it specifically to do it on myself. But it's not enough.

Meditation - I just fall asleep. I cannot meditate and stay awake.

Other drugs: I have taken Flexeril, and Bextra, Vioxx, Excedrin, 800mg Advil, tylenol, naproxen, all kinds. They caused me to get esophageal stricture which required surgery. I don't want to do that again. I dislike muscle relaxants because they make me absolutely loopy and unable to function.

The Lortab has been the cheapest method of pain management. I take two per day. I am not pain free, but I am able to function. And it's just $10 a month. So that is why I have opted to stick with it. But my doctor is not going to refill it again. And so that is why she is sending me to the pain doc.

I am more than happy to find alternatives. Believe me. But I know I'm going to go through withdrawal because I've taken it for YEARS and my body is used to it.

So, 2009 is my new beginning. My year long makeover. By next Christmas I will be a new woman. I am going to chronicle my journey here. I can always use a cheering section.

Whew and Whew!

Our company has training every year and I have to do part of it. This morning I made it through my one hour presentation despite having a major toothache.

David saw the cardiologist yesterday and has nothing wrong with his heart which is GREAT news. He has been advised to increase his salt and water intake. Hopefully that will do the trick.

Our company is being very generous this year and is giving us all the days off between Dec. 25 and Jan. 5 as PAID holidays. Woo hoo! AND they are giving us our bonuses. For me, since I have only been here 4 years, the bonus is not a lot, but every bit helps. And I really did not anticipate we would get a bonus since they are shutting down and giving us the days off with pay. So it's nice that we get both. I sent a thank-you to the president of 0ur company for doing that.

The REAL Meaning of Christmas

It's not the shopping, the gifts, the food, the snow, the songs, the decorations, the tree, the parties and the Ho Ho Ho of the big fat man in a red suit.

Nope.

This picture reflects what Christmas REALLY is.

Don't lose sight of it.

The Sun has set on another Life....

Across the street from me lived the sweetest couple in the world. Lee and Athalee Nielson. Lee, the husband, passed away last night at 9:30pm. He was home, surrounded by friends and family.

The man was sick almost his entire life. He had cancer in nearly EVERY part of his body possible. Yet he survived. He was a walking miracle.

And he NEVER complained. He was always so optimistic and so happy and thankful for everything.

I absolutely adored him. And his wife is a sweetheart too. I feel so sad for her.

Especially hard when these things happen during the holidays.

Nothing Like STRESS for the Holidays....

I took David to the doctor yesterday to see about the fainting spells. They did an EKG and drew blood. He sent us home with a glucometer, and an appt to see a cardiac specialist at Primary Children's hospital. If none of that shows anything, he wants to do an MRI on his brain.

David had another bad episode last night and this morning. I'm worried about the kid.

I saw my own doctor this morning and she told me my blood pressure is dangerously high.... -- it was 175 over 80... and if it has not come down over the next 2 weeks, she is putting me on blood pressure meds. I'm sure it's high just because I'm stressed out over David. At least I hope that's all it is. But I have been having chest pains lately... though I have been trying to ignore them.

I just can't deal with all of this right now.

Merry Christmas!

Hey, the Kramer clan got together last night and managed to take a photograph! Oh wait, I better say the Kramer-Lamoreaux clan.

I've been missing my mom a lot this past weekend. I watched "Holiday Inn" with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, and also "White Christmas" with the same guys. Mom used to like those movies.

David goes to the doctor this morning to find out what is going on and why he is fainting. I actually suspect it might be anxiety. This morning as I took him to school he told me he suddenly felt like he had "stage fright." I hope he is doing ok. I'd much rather deal with panic attacks than diabetes or vascular problems.

Well, I am at work, so I better actually GET to work.

Holidays Have Begun....

Well, I tried to cook my turkey in my broken oven. Why did I try? I don't know. I ended up transporting it to Karin and Brett's apt and using their oven. But I overcooked it....and so it was rather dry. Nobody complained, but it wasn't my best.

Friday I "attempted" to shop. What a JOKE. I hate crowds. What I wanted was sold out anyway. So I ended up ordering it online and paying way too much for it. Story of my life.

I spent a couple of hours putting my tree up and then guess what? This morning I discovered the bottom of the half of the tree has lights that are not working! They were working last night. But are not working now. GRRRRR.

I was going to make turkey and biscuits for my Sunday dinner tomorrow but then realized (after buying the ingredients) that I STILL DON'T HAVE A WORKING OVEN!!!

So I guess it's spaghetti.

On the positive side, I am done Christmas shopping. I think.

Wouldn't this make a GREAT Christmas Card?

May the joy and wonder of the holiday season be yours.

Or,

May the innocence of Christmas light your holiday season.

or....

dang isn't he just too cute????

This is Raedin. He is my niece's baby. This was taken last year. But he is still just as cute!

I'm worried

My son David is 13. Over the past month and a half he has fainted 2 times, come close to fainting another 6 times. He gets nauseated, dizzy, drenched in sweat. He says sometimes he feels like he got hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. He has also been covered with huge bruises from just playing around.

Could he be anemic? We don't eat a lot of meat at my house. We are a quesadilla, grilled cheese, mac and cheese family. We do eat meat, but not a lot. Maybe he needs to take vitamins, but in the past they upset his stomach (even the children chewables).

He has missed two days of school this week.

He has a doctor appt on Monday. I hope they find what is wrong.

Donna and Mom

This was taken several years ago when Mom had her lung removed and she had returned home from the hospital. Donna spent 8 weeks and I spent 6 weeks in Vermont.

During the next ten years Mom rapidly declined and aged about 20 years.

Even though I saw her several times when she was not "herself"... this is how I remember her. Like this picture. Smiling.

I miss her so much. So very, very much.

Hawaiian Haystacks

Sauce:
2 cans Cream of Mushroom soup
2 cans Cream of Chicken soup
2 cans of milk
2 pkgs chicken or turkey gravy mix prepared as directed on pkg
4 chicken breasts, cooked, cubed (or the equivalent amount of leftover TURKEY)


Prepare gravy as directed on pkg. Add soup, milk and turkey. Warm through. Serve over rice and add toppings; (Use your imagination!)

Rice Chopped Onion Sliced Mushrooms
Chopped Celery Diced Tomatoes Slivered Almonds
Grated Carrots Coconut Grated Cheese
Pineapple Tidbits Green Pepper Sliced Radishes
Chopped Boiled Egg Chow Mein Noodles Soy Sauce

My favorite is to do the rice, pour the chicken/turkey gravy mixture on top then put lots of grated medium cheddar (so it melts) followed by pineapple tidbits, then coconut, then celery and green peppers, mild onion, chow mein noodles, almonds, tomatoes. It sounds weird, but it tastes oh so good all together!!

Enjoy!!!

Warning:

Holding Things In Can Give You Cancer.

So Please Excuse My Frequent Emotional

Outbursts.

It's PREVENTIVE THERAPY!!

Man, when it rains it pours as far as work goes. I have days and days where I can just work on my own little projects, and nobody needs anything from me and then yesterday Richard needs a manual, John needs 15 drawings run off, Lisa possibly needs me to find an old revision of a manual that is buried in our disaster files, Kent needs 7 new Part numbers, Scott needs labels typed up and ECOs released, the copier is jamming (I seem to be the one with the magic touch to fix it), Paul is asking about things, and this all happens within FIVE MINUTES.

I kid you not. I felt like I was being pulled in 17 directions! And I am happy to help everybody, that is not the problem... the problem is when they all want me AT THE SAME TIME.

It's just the way it works here.

With the economy the way it is... I am happy to have a job. So no complaints on my end. Just PREVENTIVE THERAPY by blowing off steam.

I miss my mom.

I guess it is because the holiday season is approaching and also because I am heading to Vermont for half of December to spend Christmas with my dad, but I want my MOM to be there too.

And of course, she won't be. Well, not physically anyway.

Given the choice of having her here, frail, sick, hurting, not quite all there mentally.... or knowing that where she is now she is whole, and happy, and pain free.... my choice of course... is for her to be where she is.

But dang.... I wish we could make long distance phone calls to heaven.

Visits from the Other Side....

Every night this week my dreams have been filled with family members who have died. My mom, my uncle David, my grandma Harlow, my grandma and grandpa Aplin, my aunt Rachel, Aunt Maddy.... it's been like a huge family reunion or something. I wish I could remember WHAT the dreams were about, but I don't. I just remember that they are pleasant and I want to stay in them and not wake up.

Somebody needs to invent TIVO for dreams.

Monday Musings

I went to Karin and Brett's ward on Sunday because Karin played a beautiful rendition of "Be Still My Soul"..... it made me cry. I want her to come play it at my ward.

More huge protests going on between the LDS church and the gay community. I was present at the first rally on Nov. 7. It was peaceful and had good energy and I was proud to be a part of it.

But now, that things are turning ugly and the church is being targeted with nasty physical attacks (several church houses having windows shot out.... white powder appearing at the church office/temple, etc) I am no longer sympathizing with the gay community. It's not just the LDS church that was against this proposition. The Catholic community also supported it... as did many other Christian faiths. I have several lesbian friends who are "married", and so I did have sympathy, but right now I am on the outs with them because of this whole thing. It's sad. But that's life.

I wish i could remember what general authority said it, but I recall reading something about in the "last days" there would be a great "weeding out" within the church. That many of the elect would fall away, that if you did not have a strong testimony to rely upon, then you would be swept away and lost. I see it happening. It's scary.

Ain't she sweet?

My daughter is too gorgeous for words.

Lucky her, she and her hubby are heading off to the Mexican Riviera on a cruise for Thanksgiving. It better be good --- tough choice between Mom's stuffing and a cruise.... ha ha ha.

She's playing the piano in church this Sunday too. Looking forward to hearing it.

So the response from David and Michael when I told them that Karin and Brett would not be with us for Turkey day: "Yay! More Food For US!"

Yeah... that's what it's all about folks.... the food. Not the family time.... just who gets MORE stuffing, more PIE and MORE TURKEY!! LOL.

I goofed somewhere along the line raising them. OH well.

Shh... don't tell anybody but I'm thinking of just getting a Marie Callendar's ready made meal this year. Do you think anybody would notice?

Opens Tomorrow

I haven't read the book(s). But the preview for the movie looked really good.

It opens in Utah tomorrow. I've heard that shows are sold out already thanks to Fandango. (pre purchase ticket site).

I had plans with somebody to go see this tomorrow but I don't remember who.

Thursday Musings.....

So last night I dreamed that I was in a grocery store with my mom. But she was old, and sick, and in her nightgown. She was hooked up to oxygen and she kept telling me she was going to go outside for a cigarette. I told her not to, she had worked so hard to quit, why go back to it?

I could not find my way around the grocery store... I wanted to get some fresh veggies and was really craving butternut squash. But the aisles were all tilted and zig zagged and I kept ending up where there was just tons of junk food!

I could see the produce section off in the distance, but could not get there.

Finally I found a big beautiful bowl of red, ripe strawberries and I grabbed it and put it in my cart. But then I turned away for just a second and when I turned back, my cart had been moved and I could see it, but some other person was taking it away from me and I was so ticked off because that meant I had to go outside, get a new cart, and start all over again!

Lot of symbolism in that for me.

A Poem I wrote in Highschool.....

The ocean reflects my emotions.

Some days it is calm.....

and the waves gently slap against the rocks.....

Other days, it crashes and soars....

Landing with tremendous power.....

Roaring and bellowing......

Foam spraying up as if to remind the world,

"I AM HERE!!!"

Once again.................

There is calm.

Quiet.

Rippling waves receding to the past...........

And tomorrow a new tide will come in.

My Favorite COOK -- MY MOM.

Everything I learned about cooking and baking I got from my mom, my dad, my grandmothers. My mom was a very good cook and she made the most AWESOME stuffing for thanksgiving.

I've debated whether to share her recipe or not... but really it's sooo incredibly SIMPLE and there is no secret to it.... that I guess I should.

TIPS TO HAVE A THANKSGIVING MEAL LIKE MY MOM USED TO MAKE:

Turkey: Use Norbest or Butterball. Always buy frozen and let it thaw for several days in your refrigerator. The night before baking you can rinse it thoroughly with ice cold water, remove the giblets and cook them if you want to put them in your stuffing. (Mom did that sometimes, but I don't usually do it.)

Stuffing: For a 20 pound turkey I use 2 packages of Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing. I chop up sweet onion (whatever it suggests on the back... I think it's a cup per package) and I sautee the onions in butter. I bring the amount of WATER called for to a boil. I prefer water. I tried it with chicken broth and it was too salty. I put unsalted butter (I think it's a stick per package) and just make it according to the directions ON the package. What makes this stuffing is that you have to be sure you use PEPPERIDGE FARM HERB SEASONED in the BLUE bag.

Mix it up. Pack it loosely in balls and stuff it up the turkey, both sides, the neck area and the cavity area. Allow for expansion so you don't want to pack it real tight inside. And you will have some left over, so just pack it into balls and put it around the OUTSIDE of the turkey. It will absorb the drippings and be awesome.

For my Turkey, I do not put ANYTHING on it except basting it with melted butter. Seriously. I know people who load it with spices. But I don't do ANYTHING to it. And it's always terrific. I put my spices in the gravy and use the gravy for good flavoring.

Those are my two secrets... my two "family secrets" for good turkey and stuffing. It's so easy that anybody can do it!!!

Welcome To My Home.....

Welcome Family and Friends to my corner of the blogging world. Please feel free to comment anytime you want. Share recipes, photos, whatever.

This is my on-line journal.

Cool picture isn't it? Michael took it with his cell phone.