Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Going out of my mind....


I have severed all ties with "A" but one. I cannot seem to get that SOB out of my HEAD!!!!! I try and I try and when I find myself thinking about him I literally tell myself to STOP and I try to focus on something else. But it's like he pushes his way back in.
Now don't get me wrong.... I'm not MISSING him or wishing I could take him back. No, it's just that I find thoughts of him creeping in and it's just memories of what was, but it isn't making me want to go out with him again.
I just wish I could get him OUT OF MY HEAD FOR GOOD! I stopped listening to "our" music. I have really been doing well at disposing of everything (or selling it).
I am not sure what is triggering this sudden surge of memories. But it is driving me bonkers. I can't concentrate at work... I find myself just daydreaming, lost in a moment of time and then I come back to my senses and think, "Where the heck did that come from?"
It's most annoying. I half expected to hear from him this past weekend because he always sent me Mother's Day cards to tell me he thought I was a great mother to my kids. I bet that is what started it. I'm extremely glad he didn't do it. I would not have opened it if he had.
I guess it just takes time.

1 comment:

Doodle On Yoo said...

My best advice (speaking from experience, even though I am so young)is to pray, pray, pray to help stop those thoughts and feelings from entering your mind. Or asking for a positive distraction when they do come along. I completely understand how hard it can be, my divorce and the year that followed are a testimony to that. Good luck :)