Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I hate goodbyes.

When George was coming home to visit, the anticipation was so much fun. And suddenly the day was here! And he was here! And for the next 5 days, nothing in the world existed but him and I.

We laughed, we talked, we acted like kids. We played games, and went to movies, and cuddled. We went for walks, we went shopping. We spent a lot of time just holding each other.

It was so wonderful. I have missed him so much. I just feel complete when he is by my side.

But oh, so soon.... too soon..... it came time to say goodbye again. For a few more months at least. They never tell him when the job will be done. He doesn't know. He hears rumors that it's 60-90 more days.

But then I know they will just send him off somewhere else.

I didn't realize how hard...... how difficult this would be to be separated so much.

But it is. And each time I say goodbye I find myself retreating inside a dark, black, hollow, pit of loneliness and depression that just scares me.

Emotions overwhelm me. I cried so hard, and so long yesterday that I made myself literally sick.

And today at work... I keep choking back tears. I have a feeling of horrible loneliness gnawing at my stomach.

I love my husband. I miss him. I want him.

1 comment:

travelady said...

I am so sorry....I know that empty and depressed feeling. If you ever need to talk I am here. Thinking of you and hoping you will feel better knowing people care...xoxo